...I had a heavy heart to carry...

...I will depart and give everything to you...you must not know about me
that I am such a fool...in this melancholy mood...
because I got tired of myself, my sadness- my poison...
my tired heart, my solitude...you must not know that I am so insecure...
the disease that I called Love ,I still beleive
I think foolishly I can make the cup not feel empty...I will be the one filling the Cup...

....You almost led me into an agony....

...the rainbow has crossed the sun and I was frightened...

...for I am a lost wanderer...

....oh, await my wandering spirit dear, don´t let it longer stray...

...I´m chased by last winter´s nighmare...

.....I didn´t know You that night, hadn´t recognized your face before...who would guess that I fell so deep...

...a little bit full of myself...

...you call me and here I am,forget when I come back to You and recall me again
when feeling that the image fades
it is a battery recharge
delighful self-flagellation
the pillory whipping the body

but there is always something born in the dephts
something sailors can not see, even though it´s been always longed to be seen
some of them then go insane and hang themselves on the pier
the rest of them, dizzy at once rush towards the waves,which they want to embrace
silently standing tethered to the deck
and tears burn the scars upon their cheeks
For they know now that the tempting is fatal
and these very ones are ones surviving
but their lives will be no longer the same as before
not anymore...

...I feel like I have travelled somewhere , out of my filthy room and my drama blues...
...but for how long shall I keep this treasure...

...not to be trapped in my own fear...
...torturing memories...


...and too many nights I´d fed the past eating myself from within...
and nothing is then so mournful as tasting eden itself...

... but there are no big things without the noble sacrifices...

...I wake , who never thought to wake again...

...Hell became Heaven as you passed...

...maybe in silence I´ll find no rejection...

....in the dreams at the end of a weeping...
...in the days of a silence...
...there is...
....a scent of You....

...my mind and your heart are one...I think of all your beaty all the time....

...and sometimes when I am dying the most...
I think of what you might give me
and I know I may give myself to thee...

...only one blossom was different...and it is You...