...you don´t need this disease...

the ex queen is dead already long time ago she passed away
but still we don´t deserve to recognize that we´re not compared to her anymore
I hate her as much as I can as I am capable of hating someone
someone with a crown of the ones who were rejected

how unfair it is
all of  this

how weak it is of me to hate someone I have never seen
but your signature´s here for me
your way of humiliating me
and you are now resting in peace
seemingly you crept close to me
and I can hear you breathe
and we who love, are the ones rejected
and we who start new beginning hardly 
can forget your trace..

I would be sick of you
you are dead , just go away...

I made a rule about you
as you made one about me
should I be envious about what you live
you dont feel more than I do

a pořád přemýšlím , proč mě nechceš,
co je na mě tak špatně a už to je špatné
že jsem se sebe vzdala a tobě dala a ty to ani nechceš
a tak čekám
minuty dny roky čekám
a řeka teče
a čas běží
můj i tvůj
a já stárnu
a ty se bráníš
a neubráníš
a čím potom je nám to slovo
a jsou ta slova
tobě dobrá
a mně šedá
a nikdy a nikde a nikam k sobě nepatříme
a už je toho dost
toho všeho je i moc
a nevěřím a nerozumím
že jsem i vzdala ,to co umím
a nemůžu už už ani psát
a je to smůla ,že musím lhát
i když je to vinobraní...

you could lose your  crown as a first step
you could  play around and make yourself oblivious
you can put the whole blame on me
in a blasphemy
you can even hate me
you can lie
you can tell me the sweetest and politest phrases
to soothe a little bit of your doubts
but you can´t make it a half
it doesn´t hurt less
why don´t you lose your crown
and get laid with me here on the ground in a mess
and in the sweat and in the filth
you´ll see all things clean
and all the bad and all the good
is gone for good
and with your finger on the trigger
you´ll see that there hasn´t been a single part that is you anymore
and with all things hidden you can flee then
and it is so good and it is so fine
and I can see me as a counterpart indeed
and all the lies and all the pain
have gone as they were just the rain
and we´ll survive and have a certain gain
of the promised and forbidden land
for a short moment we shall forgive
what it is to get and to give
and in this ..we tend to give up and to promise
and never forgive...

I loved you so much, the most
in this life that I know
every part that belonged to you I loved
and you don´t want any of this
I am very sad
but I am happy too
that I´d  met a small piece of you
one day you´ll be happy too

the definition of passion
...a powerful or compelling feeling as love or hate...

I am looking at her
what a beautiful clothing she´s wearing
and how astonishing she is
and how beautiful it looks when you´re with her
and I think it is not so true
that something must be hiding there
there is something that cries out
and that thing is terribly alone
but it is only the illusion
when I look at the photos
and I don´t want to hear about the disappointment
or the fact that it is your fault
I stare at it and I don´t beleive my eyes
how much she can hide under the eyebrows
and yes I don´t beleive it no more
and then you both go home
and make love to each other
but I don´t beleive it
you only use your descent phrases
you say swallow the bitter taste we´re gonna eat it
and all dishonesty we share
and I don´t beleive that you beleive that building
where people go to bother you both
and you two don´t exist anymore
and then the shadows comes
bright and alive cuz you were dreaming
and I don´t beleive that you were living
among them half alive
but then you laught and eat the fish
that she prepared
insulting for one of you
and I don´t beleive that she´s so pretty anymore
I think it´s rather unfortunate
that she is so alone
that you live your life so oblivious to the fish
slowly killed and burried
and I don´t beleive you´ll eat the dish
I don´t beleive that you´re able to slice
half alive 

koukám se na ní
jaké krásné má ošacení
a jak je celá krásná
a jak šťastná vypadá když ty jsi s ní
a myslím si
že to není až tak pravda
že něco se tam přece skrývá
že tam něco pláče
a že je strašně sama
ale to je jen zdání když na fotky se dívám
a nechci slyšet o zklamání
ani o tom že to je tvoje vina
a zírám na ní a nevěřím svým očím
kolik se toho dá skrýt pod obočím
a nevěřím už ano tomu
že pak jdete spolu domů
a milujete se
a nevěřím už ani slušným frázím
které si říkáte
a pak polykáte tu hořkost
a to že neupřímnost rozdáváte
a nevěřím tomu, že vy věříte tomu domu
kam lidé chodí a obtěžují a nejste už ani vy dva
neexistujete tam s nimi
a pak přicházejí stíny
a vy jim nevěříte a děláte chybu
a pak se smějete a jíte vámi opečenou rybu
a urážíte
a nevěřím že ona je tak krásná
myslím , že je spíš nešťastná
a že je hodně sama
a že  ty si žiješ život lhostejný k té rybě 
pomalu zabité a ukryté
 a nevěřím, že to co si říkate je pravda nebo lež
a nevěřím že tu rybu sníte
a krájíte
a nevěřím

Ambivalence

I try to rememeber
I recall
but as the time floats
and all the days
it feels harder and harder to see your face

I didn´t know you at all
I was looking for you
I saw you
I´d known  you for ages
You came
You found me
I saw you
It was a long time ago

the world is full of beautiful things
I think that all of us could be happy as kings

Goodbye
you call me as a soldier
while you´re looking for the colours that I lost
and you forgot to blow the whistle
I forgive you
sun´s down remember myself now
remember me and all the foam
and in next few moments the pain is gone...

every word seems to feel like you don´t care

it is necessary to die
but it is a must to live and play with all cards


I write with the passion
describing this stupid moment
I am yours
I paint the air
I cry the light
of enormous delight
I am yours
I am not mine
I forgot my name
I am insane
I starve to the thirst
and I enter this nothing knowing all
but became you wanting more

you can only dance because your heart is bleeding
slightly wounded am I
of these I am
and when love is gone you realize you´d done very little

tell me where you´re heading
still you are somewhere else

I was in love with every detail
thought it was the end of nothing
temporary madness

in my lonely night the dreams are floating in the air
in my room they all can see you there
I see you too
and you are lonely too

I´m waiting ,waiting in the shades
the hope is dying from the deep
so I wait and  I shall not keep
a single rememberance of thee

and because you will never want me the way I do...YOU!
and cuz you.....ing.....never ....in between
and that ...we are or we are not....
...never ....THE  loss ...for...
so....what for...
just because
the fate is playful
and there is the hole in the sky
we will think for the other
and play cowards
.... .... ... ... ... 

oh my oh my I never knew
what did it mean ? I would come back , come back to you!!

terezčin hrneček je tak milý
když tu není , můžu z něj pít  na chvíli
a její káva je tak slabá zatímco ona ve své síle září
a já ho mám když tu není na chvíli
a pak se vrátí a zlobila by se
kdyby tušila , že se ho dotkly mé líce
ale ona neví že si ho kradu
abych jí měla blíž

...there was a word that said nothing
I don´t know I don´t want a thing
cuz I don´t want to think
there was a thought that thought too much of
what someone made of it and thought of a shit instead of it
there was a message that hid and sought
and was never found cuz it was too profound or shallow
what is the difference then
who cares there
no thoughts to be followed and burnt
no words to be said or spat out
to find a holy ground that everyone and everything was born from
oh what a  word an idea the deal
to be able to feel and to perceive...

...those who cared , used to make the efforts...

the people I knew they had to be adored
but for what they wanted to?
for a while of  hedonistic truth
I´ll give a shit about them
I always will
if there is a mistake in a plan
I am a counterpart
don´t blame me
don´t blame me
and there is no angel
at once
when you have to live your own life
and there is no anger when we are sitting drinking tea
and all the questions are not for thee
it´s for me
to make sure that you are an illussion to me...

was going that long way long
to find the one I kept in my heart
was going on working hard beleiving
while you go ahead on your own
that was what it was all about
to let precious things come undone

was fighting for something  I could´ve given up
I keep in my heart
the way you said I was amazing
you were for me too
while thinking of how to escape
we have many ways
of letting things come undone

what is your escape about
 your exile, your changing your mind
does it have your own name signed
does someone bleed for you as I do for you
or are you in pain for the love that has not gone away
who are you
who are you
who am I
Im getting lost in my own story
where love has gone
and the pride takes its glory...

and the new fact we haven´t considered yet  that we reconsidered the fact
we´d already considered
one man considered a shit we reconsidered it
so we had stepped into it...we should consider it !

and your escape to the night is so sudden
slowly you should be going
like the scent of the spring
like your scent

and for the pain of this love
let me sleep and burn my dreams
and never let them survive

and for this torture
and the pain followed
let me die
departuring within the song
that burns in eternal glow...

for you for you I was alive
and people fighting for what it is to love...

and the men like you
don´t ever make a move
they don´t bother to give us a gaze

the ex queen is dead
for noone else to succeed

and the men like you
they never give answers
they are a hard stone to choose
as a lover
for tonite

but when I see you I don´t want any other life
any different life

there is the chain over my mind

we who came here from a dry desert
we fought to surrender again
to worship stones, aliving statues, living in cold
with solitude´s breath behind our backs
we carved the letters led by a heavenly desire
wanted to be taken care of  in the warmth

we were calling for the union of the unwanted, despised

but when I see you I can´t live any other life

tasting  lust of the skin
craving for Eden

we´ll be standing against this evil
I´m bringing you  the rare of it
so then tell me all  about
what does it feel like
to have this power over me..

...some of you would say
I am an easy prey
some of you would claim
walking on my terrain

and I shiver when I see
what has been there left of me
it takes a time it takes a diftferent view
to see the particle that was you
it takes a time it takes a need
to see the atom that once was me...

...unfortunately we have grown and we are aware of these stories
where love is gone and evil and lies take its glory...

I was not feeling that good
to be good
I was not that nice
to seem nice
I was not that profound
to find the ground
I will never try again
to touch you again
cuz I can´t
and that is our story
the spring has come...

all the birds have started their nests
except me and you
what are we waiting for...

...years passed ...and me?..
years of disgust...disease...while the unhappiness took my life and taste for anything
I used to have a knife my friend- sharp and nice
I had a friend and shoes so I went where they´d go
I had yellow shoes-beautifull
I´ll give you those
If you know me a bit
and the pain´s not gone, just released a little
eased
thanks to the knife of a living
I was alive
forgiving
scars, see what they are , the knife that heals suffering inside
a scar in the heart of what is to die...

I´ll undress my old and very ugly skin
I´ll throw away my dress my steps
my strides that I led on a very bad soil
with a dirty soul
I´ll make your words silent
I spat on you
I poisoned you
with lyrics and silence
in kisses and a touch
I´d kill you
my heart is a liar and my soul is tired

I´ll undress and then I dress back and try again
to convince you to go on hurting me once more...

and I am sick of you and I´m even worse of you
have to think of you all the time of the time I live and die
I hate myself I hate everyone, who cries
I lost my shoes it´s cold I bent over
I only make easy decisions, big mistakes
and I run away then
closer to the end

can´t get rid of you
the days you wanted me the way I was
are gone
the hours you were amazed never existed
you erase it so easily smash it peel it skin it I never beleived in it
the dots of memories saddest as they have ever been

polished by your shining existence and arrogant broadmindedness
nothing is black or white
you always read underlines
and my love is not enought
and while you´re having fun I´m bleeding
dissaponting feelings
of never really healing
will I find the needle to stitch nothing together
I am free so I am lost
you´re tied up, cold as an icecube of the instant feeling someone´s drinking somewhere hot
for a cheap coin
swallow I can do without your royal dreaming


it´s an elaborate scene from a cheap film
you cut your moments in the doubtful appointments, master of your days
I´m counting my cuts
you broke the chains
that I fastened too much
and I am sick of you I am even desperate of you
of my spirit
that was pure with you
alive, I lost my mind
unwanted to hate and to despise and to love...

my heart´s desire calling you
this shade took all the sun away
were you the sun lost in my hands

that´s the message of my heart
you may understand one day
you may hear
returning tired , falling asleep
and shouting at me
you´d be gone out of this nothing
you´re bored
I crawl avoiding your words
don´t go now don´t let me die
once I am shining
I´ll wake up into the light
years with this message

I miss you in the fog
my heart´s burning its solitude to see through
I´m writing you every morning and every night
my soul is drunk and homesick
I´m sitting in the old armchair
how many days are left to be doomed forever
when we are still here
everyone´s gone away
why you stay
everyone´s mature never realizing the loss
can´t live in the shade
stealing from your heart
I made you lie to me
the desire´s here so real , surpassing my enemies
one day maybe one day
In the fog I hide myself and
who I am
I´m texting you
don´t go away
and stay
and make these shades go astray
one day you´ll comprehend my tale...

like a long dream that was too beautifull
to believe
like a chocolate coin that melted long time ago
like a face we used to touch
wet cheeks , shipwrecked
so sad I am , I am so sad
it won´t change it can´t change
if you keep singing this song
I don´t know any other songs you know
I don´t understand this world
like an abandoned land
like a dark row of promises
instead of polite phrases
like hands that are not yours
hands of the unwanted one, strange hands cold to touch
like our questions
so sad am I, I am so sad
it can´t be changed, I can´t be changed
our first inhale our last exhale
I don´t know any other songs you know
I don´t have another song for you
like the empty chair in the room
two cups two unfinished cigarrettes
like a burden ,you don´t want and keep carrying
like the night that forces one to be quiet
like the love that doesn´t exist ...
I am so sad , so sad am I
I´m not changed, nothing has changed
I simply don´t understand this world...

wish silent night to You
silent deeply quiet night of silence
therein you are
and thoughts of You
minutes and hours of very you
there you are somewhere
there you live your life oblivious to mine
if you died it would be easier
because you live for others ,only not for me this time
you hate me for loving you
you think I claimed every single piece of you
it is true I do and I´m not ashamed
it has to be cuz you were always escaping me

I know, not for me anymore
but I envy them
how easily they deserve to be wanted...

your head aches
your heart aches
your house has just been pulled down
and the wind has killed your garden
your orchard is old and worn out

your dwells are dry
your cheeks are wet
the questions still remains
is this world your friend?

...if I lost you once or twice
I would go back to the sea to look for you
when you were kissing me on my back
I would go and search this useless stone you threw there
I would go to this beggar that you gave few coins to ,never forget you ever
I´ll be looking for you in my sleepless nights...
but this is all that I am about to do...

...you should have been more than all ever existed here...
you should have meant more and gone too far for a dream
my dream never forgiven...
where the world ends and where it begins
we should have read about
the sadness of the dawns and sunsets
as we were falling behind
may someone enter may someone come
and take this darkness and understand my love...
someone close but strange enought to bring salvation..
...a bullet would be fine as well...
it´s just ricochet in the air...

I wish I could be numb
I wish I heard my mother´s words
to take me out of all bad things in this world

the ones, we wish to come, they never will
there are others´turns to come in
we have to cope
in vain in vain
I wait for you to appear!

...if I was capable of forgetting I would forgive you all your lies
that I hate the most and I know that it´s your way how to protect your freedom
and your way of living ,the place that I should not enter , if I thought that we were not connected together ..
because the freedom is sacred
but what for ...the experience ...with anyone
it also matters
how does it feel for me like the one completely unimportant
like everything else matters more
probably it does
Im always unwanted
childish , naive
I just hate people feeding me with polite phrases and questions marks ????

you have forgotten your breath on the window pane
we were inhaling winter..
what do you see when you are sleepy
you miss something

you must come back
and you must not know
and take this breath back inside...

there where the wind blows and there to, to your paradise? ...

...the climate where you are
faded ,vanished into the past
the tears coming alive
the touch doesn´t accomplish this time

the fear appears so clear to me
the creature standing by where I like to lie

and there,in this climate,this environment
where you are as well
and lives are gone
we are left alone

do you hear me telling my stories
between the words and the pain
the sadness comes like the rain...

...I should turn into a monster to see if you are able to love me...
I think not... I am a monster already...

...when is the daylight really true
when is it sober
and even then the moment comes
when things look different
you lose the vision of me , there is not a single piece of it anymore

cuz my heart is still and boring
I haven´t carried any other to try out
I can make only silent strides

then I say there is something to pity
the dark is never real when it is drunk
and I am an old and fragile owl
worn out in moments that you´ve already known

you never cry I quess
and you never feel the love that hasn´t left
there are better faces that are fun tonight...