....a stain on a table in my own house...
strong cup of coffee
day feels a bit raw with No You around
wishing, thinking
the whole experience of the relish
have been lost and found
I feel a bit ripe within ,sometimes old
stain on my fancy dress
bit of a fever and a mess
bad fortune telling...
... Your face...
I wish I loved a bit less...

...I would be brilliant but I´m a coward...

...vain words of empty tongue...

...

....now you are noone...the same as the ones before...blaming them for my failure...
crying for I am not the ONE...

...I am a true adorer of life and if I can´t reach the face of it...I will plant my kisses somewhere further down...

...have pocket full of dreams but not easy to follow...

...karma curse...karma shit...

...I´m sooooooo boring.....

...you still have to show me how you don´t need me...

..it is this cold taking me back to insanity...

....I was born unhappy yet...into his misery...we all suffered with him..
the way of his unpleasant ways took the flowers and toys away.... I was unable to talk...for then I was stupid enough to live...
he was ashamed of me...of my foolish dreams...telling me I was just a beast ...didn´t realize I was a poet ...
then he continued..... in his own fame, glittering in my great pain...my fear ...
never apologized for these years of filth and the madness he brought into my heart...
I still fear the night ....bouncing into the walls...white turns red...
the blood was shed ...washed away by tears then ...many fears ..a horror ...instead ....
stupid thoughts...bringing me back....into failure...I didn´t want...It was not my fault....still wait for your phone call....

...I stopped looking for monsters under my bed, when I realized they were actually in my head...
...and the night seemed to drag...
done with tomorrows
prisoners in LOVE
my heart is frightened and so am I
tonight would be a beautiful night to die...

...I´ll carve his name into my wrist,fall deeper into my own tricks....
for only I know who I am, for I dared not to become anyone else
and it never works
can´t escape
out of these feelings
out of the FEAR, I became...
..forgetting my hate with music and releasing my sorrow with poetry...
...I´m alone in my own story...