...years passed ...and me?..
years of disgust...disease...while the unhappiness took my life and taste for anything
I used to have a knife my friend- sharp and nice
I had a friend and shoes so I went where they´d go
I had yellow shoes-beautifull
I´ll give you those
If you know me a bit
and the pain´s not gone, just released a little
eased
thanks to the knife of a living
I was alive
forgiving
scars, see what they are , the knife that heals suffering inside
a scar in the heart of what is to die...

I´ll undress my old and very ugly skin
I´ll throw away my dress my steps
my strides that I led on a very bad soil
with a dirty soul
I´ll make your words silent
I spat on you
I poisoned you
with lyrics and silence
in kisses and a touch
I´d kill you
my heart is a liar and my soul is tired

I´ll undress and then I dress back and try again
to convince you to go on hurting me once more...

and I am sick of you and I´m even worse of you
have to think of you all the time of the time I live and die
I hate myself I hate everyone, who cries
I lost my shoes it´s cold I bent over
I only make easy decisions, big mistakes
and I run away then
closer to the end

can´t get rid of you
the days you wanted me the way I was
are gone
the hours you were amazed never existed
you erase it so easily smash it peel it skin it I never beleived in it
the dots of memories saddest as they have ever been

polished by your shining existence and arrogant broadmindedness
nothing is black or white
you always read underlines
and my love is not enought
and while you´re having fun I´m bleeding
dissaponting feelings
of never really healing
will I find the needle to stitch nothing together
I am free so I am lost
you´re tied up, cold as an icecube of the instant feeling someone´s drinking somewhere hot
for a cheap coin
swallow I can do without your royal dreaming


it´s an elaborate scene from a cheap film
you cut your moments in the doubtful appointments, master of your days
I´m counting my cuts
you broke the chains
that I fastened too much
and I am sick of you I am even desperate of you
of my spirit
that was pure with you
alive, I lost my mind
unwanted to hate and to despise and to love...

my heart´s desire calling you
this shade took all the sun away
were you the sun lost in my hands

that´s the message of my heart
you may understand one day
you may hear
returning tired , falling asleep
and shouting at me
you´d be gone out of this nothing
you´re bored
I crawl avoiding your words
don´t go now don´t let me die
once I am shining
I´ll wake up into the light
years with this message

I miss you in the fog
my heart´s burning its solitude to see through
I´m writing you every morning and every night
my soul is drunk and homesick
I´m sitting in the old armchair
how many days are left to be doomed forever
when we are still here
everyone´s gone away
why you stay
everyone´s mature never realizing the loss
can´t live in the shade
stealing from your heart
I made you lie to me
the desire´s here so real , surpassing my enemies
one day maybe one day
In the fog I hide myself and
who I am
I´m texting you
don´t go away
and stay
and make these shades go astray
one day you´ll comprehend my tale...